Get Real: My Fitness Journey

Have you been struggling with your weight? Have you been trying to find the secret to managing your weight? Well, so have I. I want to share my fitness journey with you and take you along the right to find health, wellness, and balance in your life. So come along with me as I share my journey of the ups and downs of weight loss. Searching for balance and happiness in my life.

How My Fitness Journey Started

My fitness journey begins as a child. I was a pretty skinny kid until I turned eight. Then, for whatever reason, I started to binge eat whenever I felt lonely or sad. I started to gain weight, but like when you’re a kid, you don’t realize anything’s wrong with you until someone points it out.

Whenever someone would point out that I had put on weight, it made me feel horrible, and I would cry about it, but then I would go and eat some more to numb some of the pain. As well-meaning as certain family members in my life might’ve thought they were being, it only made matters worse. I signed up for dance class and swimming not because I enjoyed it but because it helped shed some extra pounds. That was really hurtful to me because I wanted it to be able to swim or dance for the fun of it. However, any sport was always tied to my weight.

Matters of managing my weight only got worse as I was a teenager. Hormones and poor eating got me on the road of yo-yo dieting through most of my teens. I was very active as I participated on a dance team, but I always had a poor relationship with my physical body. Never felt that I was that enough or good enough for anything. I constantly compared myself to other taller and skinnier girls than I was.

College Years

Once college started, I still wasn’t the best at eating, but I took it upon myself to sign up for the gym. I was doing it to maintain my weight, but I also enjoyed the time by myself to focus on boosting my endorphins. I worked at the trainer, I went to the gym on my own, or I would take long walks with a friend. Exercising was something that I had to do because I felt like that was the only way that I would be able to maintain my weight.

 I tried to have a good relationship with food, but I couldn’t find a balance. Hence, I am now in my mid-30s, and I was in the best physical shape of my life until May 2020. I did pretty well-taking care of myself and exercising every day, but I fell off the wagon during May. My eating was horrible, I wasn’t exercising as much, and I was in an intense funk. I was making some serious changes, and I completely gave up on my health and fitness. 

Now I’m just trying to find a balance to get myself on the right track. I’m here again. I am the heaviest I’ve ever been, and I’m completely disappointed in myself, but I’m also fed up. I’m fed up with not being able to have fun and enjoy food but also having a body that I feel proud of and good in. 

I feel pretty crappy, and I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. Honestly, I don’t want to be seen by anybody. I feel like being swallowed up in a hole, and I would rather hide in the reasoning right now. 

Today

Currently, I go to an exercise class held at the gym at work. And it’s a struggle, but I keep showing up. I feel pretty embarrassed, but I keep trying. Eventually, I will get back to a healthy weight as long as I keep showing up and work on my nutrition. The one thing that I hate about gaining weight is that everyone can always tell when I’m unhappy about something, which is really hard for me to hide because I am a petite woman. If I even put on 5 pounds, it’s a huge difference. 

I’m tipping the scale 50 pounds heavier than what I really should be, but I have to acknowledge that, own it, and embrace it. The only way I will be able to get myself back in shape is if I put the hard work in, find balance and enjoy life.

 I love food and I just won’t give it up. I want to be able to enjoy a glass of wine or a piece of cake every now and then. I’m still searching for balance, that is something for me to figure out. 

My hope is that by sharing my fitness journey with you that you can relate.

I hope that I can find some sort of balance so I can find some happiness in life and to give myself personal freedom from this constant up-and-down weight gain.

If you enjoyed this blog check out – 8 Tips and Tricks To Start Your Fitness Journey.